It’s totally reasonable that a teenager would still be figuring out what they want to do with their lives and that they would work a series of odd jobs and collect experiences while trying to figure it out.
As much as most of us understand that, there are some people who take advantage of teenagers not knowing what they want or what they are “worth” yet, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor IntroductionRude8359 was seventeen and focusing on her studies.
She was also more than happy to help out her older sister by providing free babysitting for the nieces and nephews she loved.
But when her sister started making fun of her and said that being a babysitter was all she had going for her, the Original Poster (OP) decided it was time to focus on other areas of her life.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she embarrassed me at a family dinner?”
The OP felt like her sister was taking advantage of her kindness.
“I (17 Female) have an older sister, Lisa (27 Female), who has three kids (6 Male, 4 Female, and 2 Female).”
“She’s always asking me to babysit for free, and I usually do it because I love my nieces and nephew.”
“But lately, I feel like she’s been taking advantage of me.”
The OP’s feelings were validated when her sister mocked her choices.
“Last weekend, we had a big family dinner at my parents’ house.”
“Everything was fine until my mom jokingly mentioned how I’ve been focusing on school a lot lately, and Lisa goes, ‘Yeah, because she doesn’t have a life otherwise. No boyfriend, no social life, just stuck at home doing math.'”
“I laughed it off at first, but she kept going, making jokes about how I’m ‘basically a live-in nanny’ and how she’s doing me a favor by giving me ‘something to do.'”
“The whole table was laughing, and I was sitting there embarrassed as h**l.”
“My dad even said, ‘Lisa, that’s enough,’ but she shrugged it off.”
The OP finally stood up for herself.
“I was so mad that I decided right then and there that I was done.”
“The next time she texted me, ‘Hey, can you watch the kids Saturday?'”
“I just replied, ‘No, I’m busy.'”
“She asked me with what, and I said, ‘Finding a life.'”
“Now she’s furious, saying I’m being childish and punishing her kids over a joke.”
“Even my mom is saying I should ‘be the bigger person.'”
“But I feel like if I don’t set a boundary now, she’ll keep walking all over me.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that her sister needed to be “the bigger person,” not her.
“NTA. You should be the bigger person?! She’s 27 years old, for f**k’s sake.”
“She was relying on you for child care, and instead of being appreciative, she s**t all over you in front of your family. She made her bed, she can lay in it while she’s watching her own d**n kids.” – peakpenguins
“NTA. It wasn’t a joke; it was her bullying you. She’s only calling it a joke now because she’s being shown the consequences of her actions.”
“Your mom is part of the problem. Your mom should’ve stopped her nonsense like your dad tried to do. Your mom only wants you to be the bigger person so she doesn’t have to take over watching the kids since her and your sister see how easy to manipulate you’ve been.” – repthe732
“Why do you think the mom wants OP to be ‘the bigger person’? She knows the sister is going to go to HER to babysit her kids. For FREE.” – LadyBug_0570
“It wasn’t just a joke; it was bullying, and now she’s trying to play it off because she’s facing the consequences of her actions. Your mom should’ve stepped in like your dad did, but instead, she’s enabling your sister by pushing you to ‘be the bigger person,’ so she doesn’t have to deal with the fallout or step up herself.”
“You’re not wrong for setting boundaries, especially when you’ve been manipulated into doing so much for free. NTA all the way!” – angelmagicxo
“Guess being 27 means she skipped the ‘adulting’ class. Time for her to hit the books!”
“This is slightly catty of me, but where’s ‘Daddy’? Or ‘Daddies’? Personally, three kids is A LOT, unless you’re very wealthy. Three kids at 27, I’m SIDE-EYEING you, and I’m from the Midwest.”
“And that mom, Jes*s, why wouldn’t Mom tell the oldest to watch her own damn kids and let the one in high school study? It’s warped, expecting constant babysitting.” – candid_jellyfish_240
“You’re 17. If there is a good time to be a petty person, it’s now. Your sister is 27, tell her she probably shouldn’t treat people who are doing a big favour like s**t.” – DareDare_Jarrah
“OP can’t ‘have a life,’ because she’s too busy being a nanny! She’s have plenty to do if her sister just left her alone to life her life and stop using her.” – Ryoko_Kusanagi69
“NTA. Setting that boundary is a smart thing to do. Stick to it!” – Nowelo
“NTA. I work in the daycare industry, and I’ve seen so many stories like this, and it ultimately ruins relationships with once-close family members. It’s better to set boundaries now when it gets people mad a bit, not when you’re deep in it and it blows up big time.”
“No one is entitled to your time whether you’re doing something or not. It’s your time and no one else’s!” – Special-Occasion-224
“That’s a big f**k-around-and-find-out there, Lisa. Enjoy your Saturday night at home with YOUR kids.” – Cheap_Direction9564
“NTA. If your mom wants a bigger person, she can babysit. Why doesn’t your sister have to be the bigger person? She’s older and should know better. I’m glad you’re 17 and don’t have to stay with these fools much longer. Sorry your family is being awful.”
“You sound like a great auntie. Focus on schoolwork and having fun.” – butterbeemeister
“This story brought to you by F**k Around and Find Out Child Care. Providing expensive child care to idiots who shot their mouths off and p**sed off their free child care since 1972.” – Solid-Feature-7678
Others thought the accusation of “punishing” the kids was a serious red flag.
“The kids are not being punished; she is. Now she’ll realize how much she depended on you when she has to pay for a sitter for three kids.”
“She f**ked around and found out. As the expression goes, don’t bite the hand that feeds you. NTA.” – mca2021
“How is this punishing the kids unless OP’s sister is going to hire a terrible babysitter, or she’s admitting that OP is a better mother to the kids than OP’s sister.” – haleorshine
“I’d be d**n embarrassed as hell if I had to ask my sister who’s in high school to babysit for me. Me, a 27-year-old something who’s supposed to be able to handle three kids.”
“D**n, NTA, OP.” – the-tree-is-green
“Whenever your mum says to be the bigger person, say to her, ‘Well, since you are older and wiser and are the bigger person, you can babysit. I’ll stay home and focus on my studies or I’m going out with friends.'”
“By the way, try to move out when you are 18, so they don’t try to blackmail you into babysitting or enable your entitled sister.” – Strong_Storm_2167
“My sisters, who were in high school at the time, babysat my two school-aged kids before and after school. But, I paid them. (My sisters are a lot younger than me).”
“But you better bet that I didn’t embarrass and slander them in front of the rest of our family for making a little money. There’s nothing wrong with high school-aged siblings babysitting their nieces/nephews if they enjoy it and especially if they’re paid like any other babysitter.”
“OP’s sister is just an ungrateful a**. NTA.” – EducationalKoala9080
“This is why OP’s mother wants her to be the bigger person. Mom knows she’ll be who the a**hole sister starts bugging to babysit.”
“OP, please don’t be the bigger person. Please don’t fall for ‘But faaaaammmily,’ either. If everyone wants your a**hole sister to have free babysitting, they can provide it for her. You didn’t knock her up three times.”
“You don’t owe her your Saturday nights or any other nights, for that matter. You’re 17. You should be concerned with school, friends, and maybe dating, not being your sister’s ‘live-in nanny.'”
“I can’t believe she had the gall to say it all out loud, let alone in front of your entire family.” – CasanovasMuse
“NTA.”
“Say to Lisa: ‘Maybe you should think a little more about your attitude and your treatment of people. I do not owe you child care. I was trying to help you, and you decided to use that as the punchline of your ‘joke.'”
“‘So, have fun finding a sitter you can pay to watch your children. I’m going to be out living my life now as I should have been in the first place. I won’t make the same mistake twice.'”
“And for Mom: ‘I’m finding a life. You should support me in not enabling a**hole behavior. Why don’t you babysit?'”
“‘You already raised one a**hole. You don’t need two. If I allow Lisa to continue abusing my kindness, then I am being an a**hole to myself. Not interested. If Lisa wants a free sitter, then you can sit for her. I’m done.'”
“And hold to it, OP.” – Organic-Willow2835
“NTA. Be honest with her. Tell her that her complete and utter disrespect of you lost her a free babysitter. You’re not punishing the kids.”
“She’s the parent, and she has to parent now. It’s not like the kids won’t be without supervision because you no longer accept being a free babysitter for someone who treats you the way she did.”
“Then tell her that if she wants your babysitting services, she will have to pay you a competitive rate for three young kids, and she will have to give a genuine, honest, and public apology for how she treated you.”
“The national average for three kids is $30.86 per hour. You’ll be nice, with a family discount. You’ll only charge for three kids, which is $28.10 per hour for the national average. Tell her it’s the cost of being a disrespectful b***h.”
“And no, it’s not a joke. Jokes are funny. Jokes are not mean girl remarks about someone who is not only doing you a major favor but someone you claim to love.”
“Tell your mom she is more than welcome to babysit for free if she thinks it’s something her eldest daughter is entitled to.” – Nymph-the-scribe
The subReddit could empathize with how expensive and hard to come by good and reliable babysitting is in today’s economy. However, looking for a quality babysitter should not involve taking advantage of someone we are supposed to love.
It’s ironic that the sister argued that her younger sister didn’t have a life outside of babysitting for her because by saying that, she gave her younger sister every reason to create a life for herself that would have no room to continue babysitting for her, especially free of charge.