Be they across the hall in an apartment building, or next door in a cul-de-sac, no two people have the same relationship with their neighbors.
Some are best friends, and visit each other's houses on a regular basis.
Others aren't exactly friends, but always exchange a pleasant hello every time they see each other.
In some sadder cases, certain neighbors don't get along at all, sometimes even looking for reasons to be mad at one another.
Redditor yardworkjerk was not on the best terms with their next-door-neighbor growing up, who seemed to look for ways to get them in trouble, more often than not to no avail.
Thankfully, as the original poster (OP) began entering adulthood, their next door neighbor began to become a bit more neighborly with them.
Which still wasn't enough to convince the OP to help her out when she asked for their help.
Wondering if they were being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for refusing to rake my neighbor's leaves?"
The OP shared how years of less than pleasant experiences with their next-door neighbor made them less than inclined to oblige their request to help with some household maintenance.
"I'm 18, I go to community college and live at home."
"I enjoy working in the yard so I cut my parents grass, shovel snow, or this time of year, rake."
"We have a next door neighbor Trudy."
"She's in her 40s, I think."
"When I was younger Trudy was always, difficult."
"When I was a kid playing in my parents yard with my friends and we accidentally hit or kicked a ball into her yard she'd have a fit."
"Even though it wasn't anywhere near her house."
"We didn't run through her yard or anything either, just went to bring the ball back."
"When I was in high school she'd tell my parents on me about stuff that they already knew."
"Like I was allowed to stay out til midnight or 1am, I can't remember exactly, the night of homecoming."
"The next morning she came over to tell me mom she seen me 'sneaking in' late."
"She's done other stuff but I don't feel like writing a book."
"Now that I'm 'grown' she's tried having a friendly conversation with me just if we cross paths outside, but I'm always very short with her because she's a nosey tattle tale."
"I guess her husband and her are divorcing, shocker."
"I was out raking Sunday and she was walking to her car and said 'hey do mine when you're done'."
"I ignored her."
"Monday she caught me coming home from school and asked if I'd be able to rake her yard."
"I said 'sure, but it'll be like 20-30 bucks'."
"She said 'I meant just do it as a favor'."
"I said 'oh then no' and went inside."
"I guess she said something to my mom and my mom said I should do it to help her out."
"I said no."
"I'm not helping someone that acted like that when I was a kid and besides she doesn't do anything for me so."
"My mom said that her husband isn't around anymore to do that stuff and Trudy needs help."
"That it'd be a good way to build bridges and show my maturity."
"I said 'no, I don't want to build a bridge with her and I'd rather she thinks I'm immature. Then she'll leave me alone. I have nothing to say to her anyway'."
"My mom said I'm being stubborn and I should do it for her if I don't do it for Trudy."
"AITA for refusing?"
"I don't want to help someone that was always trying to get me in trouble."
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to rake their neighbors lawn.
Everyone agreed that the OP was justified in being reluctant to rake their neighbors yard owing to her past behavior towards them, with many shocked that she assumed the OP would willingly rake her yard completely gratis.
"NTA."
"Is something wrong with her physically that she can't rake her own leaves?"
"What does her husband leaving have to do with this?"- Aggravating_Start411
"Don't do it."
"First it's leaves, and then it's 'cut lawn', 'clean my gutters', 'I'm lonely'."
"People who act like aholes need to suffer the consequences of their actions."
"NTA."- Aylauria
"Nta."
"Sounds like your mom should volunteer her own time."- cultqueennn
"Is raking leaves some kind of magical skill only men possess?"
"NTA."
"She can do it herself."
"She didn't even ask."- Weak-Possession-7650
"You're NTA."
"Being a good neighbor is a two way street and it sounds like she never has been one, but suddenly expects good neighbor favors."- Dittoheadforever
"NTA."
"Your mom wants to build bridges?"
"Tell her to grab a rake and start it up."
"I'd tell her the price is now double for being a PITA."- Lurkingentropy
"I am usually a 'be a bigger person type', but screw her."
"NTA stick to your guns on this."- freedomfromthepast
"NTA."
"I know your mom means well; but you're under no obligation to help Trudy."
"In fact, in doing this favor will probably lead to more requests for help."
"Nip it in the bud, now."- lazygerm
"NTA."
"Tell your mom to go rake her leaves for free then."- downwardspiralstairs
"NTA."
"You offered to do it at a fair price."
"She declined."
"You're not obligated to do her work for her."- seregil42
"I am close to 50 and a single mother."
"I am not particularly physically fit."
"But I have no problem raking leaves."
"I help my 85-year-old neighbour out, though."
"Which he probably doesn't even know, since I just fill up the container every time before it gets emptied, until all the leaves are gone."
"Trudy doesn't need nor deserve this kind of help, and you don't deserve to be volunteered."
"NTA."- Jocelyn-1973
"Omg NTA!"
"Trudy is 40s, not 80s!"
"She can rake her own damn yard, husband or no husband!"
"Is your mom always such a pushover?"
"Good for you for standing your ground."
"F Trudy."- taafp9
"NTA, that's labor."
'Unless you are returning a favor then asking for payment is acceptable.'
"Raking leaves is a lot of work.'
"It's insulting of her to even ask."
"Tell her to rake her own."
"Your mother is also out of line."
"Also the neighbor seem like TA."
"Karma."- Doza13
"NTA."
"You teach people how to treat you."
"She taught you to tell her to pound sand."- theskepticalheretic
"NTA."
"You are under no obligation to do other peoples yard work for free."- AnonymousWritings
"NTA."
"This is the consequences of her actions."
"Also, if you can avoid it you shouldn't rake leaves."
"It's better for nature to leave them as ground cover."- MidniteProph
"NTA."
"Your mom should respect your boundaries."- BuildingMaleficent11
"NTA."
"She can pay you or do it herself."
"The her demanding you do it is ridiculous in the first place."
"You give in to this, what is she going to make you do next?"
"She isn't your responsibility."- Kirin2013
"NTA."
"I live alone."
"I do stuff myself, hire someone, or have a friend loan me kids to do it."
"I pay the kids too but felt it was more amusing to put it that way."
"Favors are exchanged."
"She's not holding up her part of the bargain."- ShyMagpie
"NTA."
"If your mom feels so strongly about it, she can go rake Trudy's leaves."- countrybumpkin1969
"NTA."
"Its pretty damn ballsy to assume someone will do your yard work for free."
"It would be one thing if she had said, hey I cant afford much but came up with SOME compensation."- the10thD0CT0R
"NTA."
"You do yard work for your parents because you live in their home, and want to give something back to the family."
"That contribution should not be diminished by extending your labor to someone who doesn't want to pay you."
"The fact that she's been unpleasant for years is merely supporting evidence for your argument."
"Your parents may be extending their thought process beyond 'home' to 'neighborhood'."
"As a homeowner, I agree with that thinking."
"However, I would never ask my son to do work for someone who didn't treat him well, no matter what the neighbors need."- MiddleAgedCool
It's rather hard to understand how Trudy expected the OP to respond when she asked them to rake her leaves as if it were their obligation.
Particularly in light of her past behavior.
It would certainly be a very kind gesture if the OP agreed to rake her leaves, as a way of making amends.
But if the OP isn't interested in doing so, then they shouldn't feel obligated too.
One can only hope Trudy might think twice about the way she behaves around her neighbors going forward.















Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.