After a baby arrives the real fun begins.
At least that is what we’re told.
And by fun, we believe people mean hard work and drama.
There are so many issues couple’s face when dealing with the welfare of a child.
Case in point…
Redditor linpa_qnzia wanted to discuss their story for some feedback. So naturally they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for making my wife think our son was missing?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My wife has a horrible habit that I discovered 2 months ago.”
“We were ordering lunch on the Subway app and I told her to pick the location that has a drive through, that way we don’t have to go inside and take the baby out of the car, just to clip him back in a few minutes later.”
“She told me it’s not a big deal to leave the baby in the car to run in and pick it up really fast.”
“I had no idea she ever did this.”
“I told her I was not comfortable with her leaving him in the car alone even for a minute and she told me she’s been doing it since he was born and it’s always been fine.”
“She told me she does it to pick up food, run into the post office or pharmacy, etc.”
“I was floored.”
“We don’t live in a horrible area but it’s also not super safe either.”
“I told her to not ever do this again.”
“She told me she never stopped to think about the potential dangers and that she would stop doing it.”
“Well yesterday as I was driving home from my brother’s house I spotted her car at the gas station near our place.”
“It was parked in a spot up front and not a pump, so I figured she stopped in to grab some snacks which we like to do.”
“I decided to stop and go in and say hi and get some food and I pulled in and parked next to her.”
“However when I got there I was furious to find our son in his car seat.”
“The car wasn’t even locked.”
“I don’t know what came over me, but in that moment I decided to take my son and put him into my car (he’s got a car seat in there too).”
“I then drove to the other side of the gas station parking lot and waited for my wife to come out.”
“It took SIX MINUTES for her to appear.”
“When she saw that he was gone she looked stunned for a second and then started to frantically look around and cry.”
“I didn’t let it go on long, after this I saw her pull her phone out, presumably to call 911, and that’s when I pulled my car around to her.”
“I parked, got out and walked around to my son’s door, and opened it to show him to her.”
“She looked extremely relieved but that quickly turned to anger with her asking me why I took him and did that to her.”
“I told her she needed to learn her lesson and she promised to stop leaving him in the car, and that she was extremely irresponsible.”
“It was so easy for me to pull up and take him.”
“No one else at the gas station even noticed!”
“So if he really was taken there would’ve been no help and it would’ve been 100% her fault.”
“She proceeded to call me cruel and psychotic and tried taking our son out of my car into her’s.”
“I said no and that I would be driving him home, and I left.”
“She came home not much later but ignored me the rest of the day.”
“She acknowledged me today saying she wanted an apology and I said absolutely not and she’s the one who should be saying sorry.”
“She’s been guilt tripping me the rest of the day saying no mother should experience the fear I put her through.”
“Did I go too far?
OP also added…
“I guess I should clarify that the car was running with the air on.”
“I forgot to add that detail and was restricted by the character limit- but the car was on.”
“It’s a push-to-start car with a sensor for the key fob so it’ll stay on/running as long as you are close enough to the vehicle.”
“I didn’t see the keys in the car so she took them inside with her, but didn’t lock it.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“Normally I’m fully against game-playing, but this is your child’s life.”
“I support your actions.”
“Your wife is being hugely neglectful.”
“Not to mention it’ll be warm soon and being left in a hot car even for a few minutes can be deadly.”
“NTA and I wouldn’t let her take him anywhere until she apologizes.” ~ annrkea
“Let me just say, all it take is that 1 in a million crazy person who walks up to your car and takes your child.”
“Your wife is being neglectful and not thinking of the very real very bad consequences.”
“This is a dark and scary world and she and you both need to put your infants life as a 100% priority.” ~ Suspicious_Opinions
“So basically that means someone could jump in the car and drive it away.”
“As long as the engine is on, it will keep running even if the key is out of range.”
“NTA, your wife is putting your child at extreme risk for her own convenience.” ~ BaltimoreBadger23
“So let me get this straight: your wife left your child unattended inside an unlocked running car?”
“You could very well just jump in the car and drive off, kidnap a baby and get a getaway car for free.”
“That is insane. NTA.” ~ simpleredstar
“I’m sorry, but this is straight dangerous.”
“She’s honestly lucky that you were the one that drove up.”
“It doesn’t matter if you live in a nice area.”
“There are crazy people everywhere.”
“This is not something that you want to leave to chance.”
“There have also been cases where kids have gone missing like this. This is not okay.”
“Also, I just read that she came out 6 minutes later.”
“That’s enough time for a kid to run into some serious issues.”
“It’s also enough time for someone to call the cops and get CPS to start investigating you.”
“Very concerning.” ~ CAgirl17
“Your wife is actively and KNOWINGLY putting your child in potentially fatal situations.”
“You need to take evidence of her negligence NOW and gain full custody.”
“Your wife should not be allowed to be alone with children, I’d be wary of anything more than supervised visits with her.” ~ No-Use4430
“NTA, are u in the US?”
“That’s actually a crime. If someone calls on her she gonna make the news.”
“A local doctor left her kids in car and went into Kohl’s.”
“Made the news and children services got called. She may have gotten arrested.” ~ Urmom_731
“Also look into local laws!”
“A lot of places have laws on how old a child has to be to be left alone in the car.”
“Where I’m at, it’s 7 to be left alone in the care and they can only be in charge of themselves.”
“They have to be 12 to be in the care and in charge of children under 7.”
“So, not only is it dangerous.”
“It’s probably also illegal and could have her arrested and charged with neglect and child endangerment. NTA.” ~ Ok-Mode-2038
“Honestly, NTA in my views.”
“She leaves your son unattended in an unlocked car.”
“Not only can he get kidnapped, but 5 minutes during a hot summer day can be enough for a heat stroke.”
“Or someone stealing the car, not realizing a kid is on board.”
“Or a million other risks or dangers. You asked her not to do it again.”
“She agreed and still did it again.”
“I wouldn’t leave my kid with her to run an errand again.” ~ OwlyFox
“NTA. Your wife is right.”
“No mother should have to experience that fear, and she opens herself up to it constantly.”
“She deserves what she got.” ~ Cryostatica
OP had some after-the-fact information to give us…
“Update on this situation:”
“I sat my wife down this morning and did apologize for the way I went about things.”
“But said I was not sorry for caring about our son’s safety and in the moment felt like she needed a huge wake up call.”
“She apologized for lying and continuing to do this unsafe practice.”
“I asked her why she seems so casual about what she is doing.”
“Most parents I know (myself included) are on the paranoid side when it comes to their kids, and she has been doing this for so long without seeing an issue.”
“I asked if she thinks she’s dealing with some kind of postpartum mental health issue as I don’t consider this normal.”
“She broke down crying saying she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her.”
“She has agreed to seek counseling and until there is a major change/improvement I will be running all errands with my son or we will be doing them together.”
“But I told her I cannot trust her anymore to take him places by herself.”
“This is a good step forward.”
“Hopefully, she will have learned her lesson.”
“However, just in case, document everything, all texts and communications of her admitting that she did this.”
“If she doesn’t learn from this and counseling goes south, you will have the documentation to fight for sole custody.”
“The judge will NOT be pleased to know that the baby is not safe with her.” ~ Voyager_AU
Well it sounds like OP and wife are at least in a good communicative space.
Hopefully this family can find a way through.
Parenting is no joke. Good luck to all.