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Single Dad Lashes Out After Ex Calls Him ‘Perverted’ For Teaching Daughters About Menstruation


Divorce and co-parenting is never easy.

It’s always a precarious situation even in the best of endings.

Life doesn’t stop happening and life lessons still need to be taught.

Case in point…

Redditor aitaposthrowaway wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for shouting at my ex in front of my daughters?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (37 M[ale]) have three girls; 8, 10, and 12.”

“Their mother walked out on us for another man when our youngest was around 4.”

“My ex still stays in contact, though, and pays child support.”

“A few weeks ago while doing laundry, I saw red spots on my oldest’s underwear.”

“I asked her if she knew about it, and she cried and told me she tried to call her mom, but my ex didn’t call back.”

“She’d been stuffing toilet paper in her underwear, hoping that would work.”

“I explained to her that periods are nothing to be ashamed of, and found some great resources online for us to review together.”

“I took her to the store to pick out brands of feminine products she wanted to use (she picked Playtex Sport because she’s a gymnast).”

“After we were done, I decided I should do the same thing with my other two.”

“My 12 year old volunteered to be part of preparing them, and we made a whole night of it; it was wonderful, and I learned a lot.”

“I even learned what a menstrual cup is, and how they benefit the environment.”

“The other day, my ex called back.”

“I’ll usually arrange a video chat and leave the room so they can have some alone time, and when they’re done chatting, I’ll come back in to talk boring co-parenting stuff like school, bills, etc.”

“This last time, my ex was FURIOUS with me for talking about periods with the girls.”

“She shouted at me that I was sick and perverted, why didn’t I call her myself if I knew it was so urgent.”

“I could’ve called one of their grandmas/aunts, but my mom has dementia, while her mom and sisters call me a loser because I teach kindergarten, so I’m not fond of them.”

“My ex told me I was being immature and should have just toughed it out for the girls.”

“This really pissed me off, so I shouted back that maybe if she wasn’t such a deadbeat and answered her go**amned phone once in a while, she could have handled this.”

“I brought up everything she does that hurts them; she hasn’t been to a single soccer game, piano recital, or gymnastics meet in two years.”

“Every other weekend when they come home from her house, they go straight to their rooms, only to emerge hours later asking me why she loves her new husband more than them.”

“And what did they do to make her leave?”

“My ex responded by saying I should tell them it’s not their fault I couldn’t satisfy her.”

“And I screamed ‘f**k you,’ and she just smirked and pointed behind me, saying ‘Look what you did.'”

“When I turned around, my 8 year old and 10 year old were standing in the doorway crying.”

“It broke my heart; I never shout, so I know I scared them.”

“My 12 year old stormed in and started screaming at her mom.”

“And while I appreciate her sticking up for me, this is not a battle I want her fighting.”

“My ex hung up before I could fully deescalate the situation, and let’s just say the girls have been given free reign of the ice cream and limitless hours of video games, because I feel so bad.”

“I even watched all the Twilight movies with them, so don’t say I don’t love them.”

“But in this instance…”

“AITA for shouting?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. Have you considered they were crying because of how you were treated rather than the fact you lost your temper?”

“It’s easy to assume the worst.”

“Children are more observant than we give them credit for.”

“That your daughter defended you right away pretty much makes it impossible to consider you an a**hole.”

“Looking at it from a pure logic standpoint, isn’t it better they learn not to expect anything from their mom early in life?”

“Certainly, you shouldn’t have lost your temper in front of children, but no one is perfect, especially when someone is calling you perverted for being a great single dad.”

“You also had no idea they were there listening so closely.”

“Honestly you are way too hard on yourself to even think you needed to post here.”

“Keep on being a great dad.”  ~ REDDIT

“Here’s the thing though- you’re having to be super dad because mom left.”

“Of course they wish things could be normal again, I’m sure you wish the same thing.”

“An honest conversation might need to happen again to let them voice how they feel together and see that you understand and wish things were different too.”

“You’re being an awesome parent trying to be there and make sure they feel loved.”

“Please don’t stop being an amazing parent!” ~ S3xySouthernB

“OP was already there being super dad before all of this, from what it sounds like.”

“I wasn’t comfortable talking with my dad OR my mom when I got my period.”

“The fact that he not only recognized the situation, but then went on to comfort and then support her to the best of his capabilities?”

“That’s what kids like her need.”

“Nothing is ever perfect, and the family dynamic my be disrupted.”

“But the kind of support OP is delivering deserves so much respect.”

“He came through for his kiddo, and if his ex wants to be mad about it that’s her problem.” ~ MaestroMeowMix

“Seriously, my heart melted reading how supportive this dad is.”

“I’m 27 and my dad still flips out if he even sees an unopened box of tampons in a grocery bag.”

“He will still get onto me if I don’t bury a tampon wrapper under toilet paper in the trash can (not a tampon—just the wrapper) because he ‘shouldn’t have to see that stuff.'”

“He got mad when I tried to keep a cute basket of tampons on the back of the toilet in high school and made me keep them in the cabinet on the other side of the room.”

“Wasn’t even his bathroom!”

“I know he was just brought up that way, to view periods and bras etc. as embarrassing.”

“But it was really hard on me as a young girl already struggling with body image and puberty.”

“My mom sort of reinforced the sense of taboo and it really caused me to develop a lot of shame centered around my body and bodily functions.”

“Their weird attitudes especially sucked because I had severely abnormal periods.”

“But it took years to convince them that it was serious and get medical help for it because it felt like it wasn’t okay to even bring the topic up.”

“Anyway I suppose that was an unsolicited tangent but I am just so so so grateful that dads like this exist.”

“OP, you are doing a fantastic job and setting your daughters up for a healthy, positive body image.”

“Keep up the great work.”  ~ REDDIT

“NTA. If she was truly romanticizing the moment when she could talk periods with her daughters…”

“a) she could have just stayed with her family to begin with or…”

“b) talked to her eldest about her period before it happened so daughter wouldn’t be stuffing toilet paper and be upset and…”

c) take her daughter’s phone calls right away or return them promptly.”

“I can understand that marriages fail but wild horses couldn’t keep me away from being present and active in my daughter’s lives.”  ~CentralToNowhere

“Go kiddo, and go dad!”

“You sound incredible, and your daughters have already figured that out for themselves.”

“It sucks their mom isn’t like you, but unfortunately that’s the life the mom chooses to lead – and its horrible for the girls but they know you are doing the best you can in this situation.”

“Even if the youngest two don’t entirely get it yet, they will.”

“And the period thing? Man, you rock!”

“It sounds like you did a fantastic job of explaining periods and making your oldest feel comfortable, so much so that she actively wanted to be involved in educating the other two.”

“In doing so, your younger two got to see that the family is united, periods aren’t scary or something to be ashamed of, and you all were able to bond in yet another way.”

“10/10 job, perfectly done, absolutely no need for mom or other relatives to be involved.”

“Your ex is disgusting for implying that you cannot speak to your own daughters about periods.”

“I wouldn’t want her to be educating girls at all.”

“She is also the worst mom for taking great delight in knowing your kids are watching you argue and using their potential distress as a weapon against you.”

‘She literally proved she cares more about scoring points against you than she does about her daughter’s feelings.”

“In case it isn’t clear enough already, NTA NTA NTA!”  ~ ToHellAndBack123

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

Way to be superdad.

Keep doing you.

It sounds like you daughters are in your corner too.