If your child was upset what do most parents do? Comfort them of course.
Maybe offer a shoulder to cry on or some encouragement. The typical response would not be to force their sibiling to go through the same experience to hurt them too.
One teen found herself in this situation when her sister ended up with a buzz cut and her mother wanted her to shave her hair off too to make her sister feel better.
The confused teen turned to the AITA “Am I The A**hole” subreddit for opinions on the hairy situation.
Redditor nidpofg asked:
“AITA for refusing to cut my hair to make my sister feel better?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I am 16-female, my sister is 14-female. She has jet black hair, and if you know about hair then you would know that it’s very hard to bleach and even harder to do it right.”
“Well my sister wanted to get platinum blonde hair and she decided to do it by herself.”
“And it did not go well.”
“She ended up completely frying her hair and it fell out and she’s left with chunks of hair ranging from about an inch long to like 6 inches long. My mom took her to the salon to try to do something to it and they decided that the only thing they really could do was to give my sister a blank canvas so they gave her a buzz cut.”
“She was hysterical about it and cried for many hours after.”
“The next morning my mom came into my room to wake me up at 8 and she asked me if I would be willing to also buzz my hair off because my sister said that my hair was affecting her.”
“I have very long hair and it would take literally like 5 years to grow back so I said I wasn’t willing to do that. I offered to tie my hair up and wear beanies when around her or something but that I was not going to cut it off.”
“That sent my sister into another crying fest. I am starting to have doubts about my choice but I really do not want to cut my hair.”
“AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. This is what’s called an egalitarianism of envy: if I can’t have it, no one else can. I don’t blame OP’s sister. She’s young and sad.”
“OP’s mother, on the other hand, is ridiculous. Instead of helping younger sister gain some perspective, she wants OP to cut her hair?”
“What about the hair of sister’s friends and neighbors? Any celebrities’ hair making anyone feel bad today? OP’s mom has lost the plot on parenting both OP and her sister.”
“OP clearly NTA. Btw, if OP suspects either mother or sister of being capable of intentionally cutting or damaging her hair, be careful! Consider locking the door before bed, and don’t let either of them get behind her!” ggcc789
“NTA. My god, your mother is a piece of work. Is your sister the Golden Child? Tell your mother her favorism is “affecting” you. You should not have to wear beanies or tie up your hair around your sister.” forteanforever
“NTA Don’t cut your hair. Your sister did something foolish and tried to bleach her black hair and she burnt it. Cutting your hair isn’t going to resolve anything and your mother should have never asked you to buzz your hair.”
“You offered a compromise.if your sister is having a meltdown, your mother can get her a wig from a salon that treats women with hair loss. Your sister is going to have to wait for her air to grow to a length that will allow a stylist to add extensions.” highwoodshady
“The entitlement from your sister is appalling! Your mom and sister want you to cut your hair for your sister to feel better about her own stupidity?!”
”NTA, don’t do it. If I was you I wouldn’t even wear beanies etc I’m not the one who destroyed my hair, why should I suffer.” DarkParadise_01
“NTA. I wasn’t allowed to have long hair when I was growing up. I was so envious of other girls who had long thick beautiful hair. When I was a teen, I started growing it.”
“My parents were always at me about it. I’m in my 50’s and I still have long hair. Don’t let anyone make you cut it.”
“Your sister made a bad decision. You didn’t. Her hair will grow back. Is she asking her friends to shave their heads? Your mom? No just you.” kieeysnttze
“NTA your mom is a comfortable parent, meaning, she’s just doing what’s comfortable for her (aka having you cutting your hair, instead of parenting your sister). She can’t make you responsible for your sister feelings, it’s not fair and she should have talked to your sister about this and explained that actions have consequences and intentions sometimes don’t matter.”
“It is her fault her hair is like that now, although she didn’t intent for this to happen. However, making your hair fall off, won’t bring hers back and that is just something she needs to learn how to cope with.”
“In life there are many disappointments and it is not always fair, she should learn that lesson here and now.” RAthrowaway
“NTA. I wasn’t allowed to have long hair when I was growing up. I was so envious of other girls who had long thick beautiful hair.”
“When I was a teen, I started growing it. My parents were always at me about it. I’m in my 50’s and I still have long hair.”
“Don’t let anyone make you cut it. Your sister made a bad decision. You didn’t. Her hair will grow back.”
“Is she asking her friends to shave their heads? Your mom? No just you.” CocoPuff1969
We hope OP kept her hair and set some limits.
Someone else hurting will not heal your own hurt—a lesson Redditors thought the sister and mom here need to learn.