Losing a job for any reason is a troubling experience, but it’s especially terrible when the situation isn’t your fault.
It can be really hard to pick yourself up from that and potentially have to depend on others for a while, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Selena5000 had enough of it after her older sister made a terrible comment about her living with them after losing her job.
But when she was criticized for being too sensitive about the comment, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure what to do next.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for refusing to touch anything my sister buys after calling me a parasite?”
The OP recently lost her job after being ill.
“OK, so I (Female 23) have recently been fired from my job due to having to take a week off because I tested positive with the virus (yeah, my company sucks).”
“I haven’t been able to find a job yet. I’ve been out of a job for three weeks, including the week I was sick.”
The OP received mixed responses to her unemployment.
“I’ve been staying with my mom, but this is normal here (Jordan), as this is sorta how our culture goes, you don’t really move out until you get married.”
“The problem is that I used to help financially and now I can’t, which is making me feel really s**tty about myself as is.”
“My mom kept assuring me that it’s fine and that I shouldn’t let it bother me.”
“But my older sister (29) keeps giving me judgemental looks and snide remarks every day.”
The OP’s sister lashed out.
“The issue blew up today over a really stupid matter. I was brushing my hair when my mom asked me to make her coffee. I put the brush down and immediately went to make mom coffee.”
“My sister walked in, saw that the brush had hair on it, and blew up, yelling about how disgusting I was for not removing my hair from it.”
“I was about to tell her that I’d take it out in a second when she said, ‘You’re already a parasite that lives off of our money, and now this too?'”
“I literally froze for a second, and I could honestly feel my chest getting tight.”
“I couldn’t understand what she said after, even though I could see her lips moving.”
“When I could breathe again, I quietly turned around and took the brush from her hand and cleaned it, finished the coffee, and walked out so I can cry without anyone seeing me.”
The OP no longer wanted to accept help.
“I didn’t speak to her, but when I went back to my room, I took out everything that I knew was from her money and put it on her bed.”
“I refused to let her return it no matter how angry she got.”
“I also have been refusing to eat or touch anything she brings home.”
“I even talked to a friend about moving in with her permanently.”
The family thought the OP was being too sensitive.
“My sister kept saying it was just a joke and that I’m just being my usual stupid self.”
“But I know her very well. When she gets angry, she tends to say exactly what she thinks of a person, and I don’t want to depend on someone who would resent me for that.”
“When I start working again, I plan to pay her back every penny she ever spent on me.”
“My mom told me I’m being too prideful and mean and that if I keep this up, it’ll break apart our bond.”
“But honestly I don’t think I’m in the wrong here.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that nothing about her was parasitic.
“NTA. Family is supposed to take care of each other. As long as you’re on the job hunt and help out at home, you are not a parasite, but a sister and daughter in need of your family’s support.”
“Your sister is failing here and someday she may need your support. Think seriously about providing it if she doesn’t change.” – arcrealist
“What bond are we talking about? Your sister resents you for being jobless due to no real fault of your own, and she was only too happy to rant at you for a few hairs in a brush.”
“That’s some disgustingly low bars of a threshold for wanting to hate on someone.”
“Sounds like your sister’s just another Schrodinger’s a**hole not worthy of another’s time.”
“NTA” – PristineEarth6067
“NTA. She called you a parasite, you removed any way for her to prove it true. She’s mad because she doesn’t have a leg to stand on and you proved her wrong.”
“And then she, instead of apologizing, called you stupid? Oh h**l no, OP. Do not stand for that treatment.”
“Good for you for standing up for yourself. That’s a really hard thing to do when you’re already down.” – Penny_girl
Others agreed and pointed fingers at the OP’s sister and mother.
“There’s literally no part of her that isn’t being a huge a**hole and bully here, and honestly, your mom is being an a**hole to you too for telling you that you should lie down and accept this kind of bullying.”
“You shouldn’t put up with mistreatment just because ‘they’re faaaamily,’ and your mom is telling you to shut up and keep letting your sister hurt you because that’s less disruptive to her life than addressing the fact that one of her children is a bully. That’s wrong.” – YardageSardage
“NTA. You need to stand your ground, if she doesn’t understand the true severity of her implication, then make her.”
“Your mother is absolutely wrong, it’s not okay to say, ‘That’s just how she is,’ because we don’t say that about murderers and rapists (not comparing OP’s sister to those crimes, just an example of how stupid her mother’s comment is).”
“Do not give in to your sister’s B.S., or this will keep going on and she will keep being disrespectful as h**l. Bring up the point that a joke needs to make people laugh to be a joke, what she said was just mean.”
“Also if you can have a calm conversation, try voicing why what she said made you upset in a calm logical voice, if this makes her angry, don’t even think about it anymore. NTA” – ExcellentSwordfish86
“Your sister does know full well that your situation is because you were fired after getting sick, right? And she is aware that you’re looking for a new job, right?”
“It’s not like you want to leech off of others; you’re just in a bad spot right now. So her calling you a ‘parasite’ is utterly cruel. And she said this for not cleaning a hairbrush?”
“If anything has broken apart the bond between you and your sister, it’s your sister for how she’s treating you.”
“It’s not a joke to give someone mean looks and make snide comments. It’s not a joke to call someone a parasite because they didn’t clean the hairbrush. What she said isn’t a joke.”
“And then she doubled down on her nastiness by saying you were being your ‘usual stupid self’ for taking her insults seriously?”
“I hope you do get a job soon, move out, and go NC (no contact) with your sister. Again, it’s your nasty sister who has broken the bond, not you.”
“NTA” – DaniCapsFan
A few also encouraged the OP to move out as soon as possible.
“NTA. Good luck with moving out, I think it will be a very positive move for you.”
“Your sister is absolutely the a**hole and owes you a big apology. I would be tempted to ignore her or go no/low contact until you get that apology. Which will be much easier to do once you move out.” – DeepestBlueDragon
“NTA. I hope that you can work on getting back on your feet so that you can move away from her toxic environment. Live the best life you can, you deserve it.” – Avebury1
Though the OP was confused with the feedback she’d received from her mother and her sister, the subReddit insisted that she was not in the wrong. She was clearly in an unsupportive environment, especially during the vulnerable period of being out of work.
Hopefully, the OP will take the comments to heart and keep her feelings of self-worth intact.