Parent-To-Be Bans Husband From Talking During Infant Prep Class After He Made Inappropriate Jokes

Well, love to crack a joke here or there...

But you need to have a receptive audience.

One dad-to-be learned that the hard way.

Redditor pieceofpower found themself in a personal dilemma regarding their husband's behavior in a child preparation class, so they turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.

Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.

They asked:

"AITAH for telling my husband he is not allowed to speak at the next infant prep class we take?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"My husband and I took a class last night at the hospital with probably 20 pregnant couples."

"He kept making jokes and trying to say little comments to me during the class."

"I found it came off as being rude to the instructors."

"The material was stuff we already knew for the most part."

"He has A[ttention]-D[eficit]/H[yperactivity] D[isorder], and I could tell he was just fidgeting."

"Plus, it was an evening class, and he takes his meds early in the morning."

"Well, I kept telling him to stop."

"We get to the part where they go over infant CPR, and I told him to stop joking."

"I will admit that CPR videos are a bit silly with the clearing of the scene and asking an infant their name."

"But he is doing the practice and says, 'Call 911 motherfu*ker!'"

"He is not a quiet talker, and I was mortified."

The OP was left to wonder:

"Am I the a**hole to tell him that at the next class we attend, he is not to speak/make jokes and can write his questions down for me to look at?"

Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
• INFO - More Information Needed

Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.

"NTA. He’s supposed to be a grown man, not a 12-year-old boy."

"And no, I’m pretty sure that ADHD isn’t an excuse for that kind of behavior." ~ ReliefEmotional2639

"There were a couple like you in my prenatal class, and honestly, I felt bad for the pregnant wife/girlfriend."

"We did practice stretches, and when his 32-weeks-pregnant girlfriend went to sit down, he mooed at her."

"So obviously you’re NTA, he is, but like… good luck." ~ sqeeky_wheelz

"NTA. That’s so obnoxious."

"Some of the parents in those classes are anxious and taking the class very seriously."

"They deserve to be in a space where they can learn and empower themselves, not feel belittled or dismissed as silly." ~ PlanMagnet38

"NTA... having ADHD doesn’t mean that he’s allowed to be rude and disruptive."

"Although you may already know the content, there may be new parents in class who will need that information."

"At this point, your husband must have learned strategies to reduce distractions; surely he can work or do hobbies productively without this behavior."

"If not, he needs to address this before the baby gets here." ~ aries2084

"There is a difference between being part of the conversation and saying things that have nothing to do with the class."

"His last statement was a little over the top. NTA." ~ Budget-Put1016

"NTA - he should seek support in finding a productive way to manage those fidgety moments when the event requires decorum and seriousness." ~ Babygirl_Lookin

"NTA: However, if it were me, I wouldn’t tell my husband he’s not allowed to talk at all during the next class — I would tell him if he can’t behave like an adult, then he needs to be quiet."

"In line with the golden rule: if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all."

"I would have a serious conversation with him about how his behavior was extremely inappropriate for the setting, showed he didn’t take the class seriously, and was incredibly inconsiderate of the experience of the other expectant parents who may not have known that information like the two of you do — in addition to being embarrassing for you."

"He also needs to learn to read the room - was anyone else behaving the same way?"

"That can be a good way for him to check himself."

"Your husband needs to understand that you and others are taking this class because you want to be prepared parents."

"The other parents paid money and took time out of their personal lives to attend this class."

"Some may have taken time off from work to attend."

"I’m currently pregnant for the first time, and plan on attending some classes with my husband."

"I would be livid if another attendee behaved the way your husband did."

"He was disrespectful to the other parents and to the instructor."

"What if the necessary information was missed because of the distractions he caused?"

"My husband and I have ADHD as well, but we don’t allow it to be an excuse for being inconsiderate of others."

"If your husband was fidgety because his meds were wearing off, then he needs to fidget, not loudly disrupt the class."

"I’m all for accommodating ADHD and the like, but he also needs to be an ADULT and conduct himself accordingly while in public." ~ that_beech

"NTA. ADHD is not a pass to be disruptive and disrespectful."

"I have ADHD, and it is a struggle, but it's on us ADHDrs to manage ourselves."

"He needs to find a non-disruptive and non-disrespectful way to fidget in situations that require quiet and concentration around others." ~ dr-sparkle

"NTA. Telling someone they aren't allowed to talk at all is flying pretty close to the AH, but telling them to watch their volume and be respectful to the person running the class and other parents who might not already know that stuff is beyond reasonable."

"Unless this is a court-mandated class, he doesn't have to be there."

"If he chooses to, he should engage and be polite."

"Perhaps a conversation with his doctor about splitting his dose, etc., might also make him more able to function in the evenings if that's a genuine contributor - and if it is, telling him to just change completely is a hard ask." ~ Pootles_Carrot

"NTA. I have ADHD, and writing/doodling helps me focus."

"I will write words/phrases, draw, doodle, trace, etc."

"It actually helps me listen better and not be a distraction."

"It's our job to control ourselves."

"Having adhd isn't a pass to be disruptive and rude." ~ Friendly_Bite_2135

"NTA- If he can't help himself from being inappropriate, then he needs to keep his mouth shut."

"My ex-husband was exactly like this, and it drove me crazy."

"He did in fact do that exact thing when we did our birthing classes."

"He loves to try to be funny everywhere we went, especially out in public, and I always found it extremely embarrassing."

"By no means am I saying this is worth getting a divorce, but I am glad that I don't have to deal with it anymore... lol."

"Hopefully, unlike my ex, your husband will respect your feelings and try to be more appropriate and quiet in the future."

"Especially during serious matters."

"Embarrassing your spouse is not a flex." ~ jjjjjjj30

"NTA for the most part."

"I wouldn’t say he can’t speak at all, but rather only speaks appropriately. His behavior was annoying and mortifying."

"People are there because they want to learn these skills for their babies, and he’s taking away from that. It’s fine after the class for him to make a joke to you privately."

"Regardless of him having ADHD, he needs to have other coping skills to help him aside from his medication."

"Taking a 10-minute walk before the class starts, having something to quietly fidget with his hands, doodling, etc could help." ~ Thegetupkids678

"NTA, and I'm sick of people using ADHD as an excuse."

"I am diagnosed with ADHD and fidget and lack patience, but I would never act out in public like that."

"That is a choice on his part unless he's totally fu*ked in the head in other ways." ~ GollumTrees

"NTA. It comes off as both embarrassing to you and immature/rude to the rest of the class."

"You should be able to communicate to him that his behavior is distracting and annoying." ~ BlondDee1970

"NTA There is nothing more annoying than a guy who thinks he’s funny when he’s not."

"And ADHD is no excuse for bad behavior."

"Just because he knew the material doesn’t mean others did, and he is keeping them from learning important information."

"Just leave him at home and take your mom or a friend."

"He’s not going to be a help with the baby anyway." ~ Malibucat48

"Will he be able to do that?"

"It sounds like he has no impulse control, even after he's been asked to stop."

"Is he going to be this unreliable and flaky as a parent?"

"Is there a friend or relative you can depend on to pay attention to go to classes with you?"

"NTA and good luck to you." ~ Adorable_Strength319

OP came back with more info...

"Edit to add: This was a 2-hour lecture-based class on infant safety (don't leave medication out, put baby in a car seat, no blankets in the crib)."

"His comment happened in the last 15 minutes of the 2 hours."

"We have talked about the next time him bringing pen/paper and something to fidget with."

"He stated he was not prepared for it to be 2 straight hours of lecture after a 9-hour workday."

"He plans to prepare himself better next time."

It's great to hear that the two of you will be better prepared for next time.

Reddit was with you, OP.

You were trying to pay attention to an important topic.

You just want him to behave properly.

Good luck with everything.