Kids aren’t for everyone.
Sure, plenty of people follow the classic trajectory: meet someone, get married, and then raise a few kids, enjoying the ups and downs that child-rearing brings.
Some people, though, couldn’t be bothered with making and raising a small human.
Different folks, different strokes, right? That is, unless it leads to some big time family drama.
A recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit illustrated how that can all go down.
The Original Poster (OP), known as Different_Plant3116 on the site, gave a preview of the inciting detail right in the post’s title.
“AITA for not inviting my sister on a family trip because she is child-free?”
OP kicked with some background.
“My (32-year-old male) sister Clare (27-year-old female) is child-free and can’t stand children.”
“I understand, young children can be annoying and irritating, but Clara really doesn’t like children, and there have been several instances where she has been rude to my children or my brother Bob’s children (34-year-old male).”
OP took all that into account when he made a recent decision.
“Bob and I agreed to go on a trip together with our families the following week. It is a trip strictly for our children, so there will be no adult outings in the evening, or activities planned for us.”
“Since that’s the nature of the trip, we didn’t think about inviting Clare.”
But then the grapevine took over.
“My mom told Clare that we were going on a trip, and now she is mad at us. She says we are punishing her for being child-free and putting ‘little insects’ above our relationship with her.”
“She demands that we include her in the trip so she can forgive us.”
The whole thing left OP in a bit of a pickle.
“Neither Bob nor I want to invite her, but our mother says that it is our fault that Clare is like this, since we exclude her from many activities simply because she does not have children, and that this is our opportunity to make up for our mistakes.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors responded by saying that OP wasn’t at all in the wrong.
The top-rated comment laid it all out:
“Let’s get this straight:
“You’re not not inviting your sister on the trip because she’s child-free.”
“You’re not inviting your sister on the trip because she’s rude to your children and has vociferously maligned them (even including her demand for an apology in which she refers to them as ‘little insects’)”
“Your mother is complicit in your sister’s abuse by taking her side, even when it’s none of your mother’s business.”
“Here’s what you do:
“Tell your mother to butt out.”
“Tell you sister that you’d be happy to re-consider whether you include her or not — in the future — after she’s demonstrated that she can treat you, your brother & your children with the courtesy & respect with which she demands to be treated.”
“Take your vacation with your brother and don’t give Mom or Sis a second thought.”
“NTA all the way.”
Others shared the same conclusion, but chose a more blunt delivery.
“NTA, she’s child-free, and as of now, your trip is a**hole free.” — Downtown-Law-3133
“I’m sorry, ‘make up for your mistakes’? Yikes!”
“Nobody has the right to demand to be included in your plans. Your sister sounds toxic AF. Your mother does not sound much better.”
“You & your brother take your families on vacation & have a good time. Leave the toxic waste behind. NTA” — omgtuttifrutti
“NTA. If she were pleasant when she was included it would be a different story, but she’s absolutely earned this treatment. She can’t abuse people and expect to not have consequences.” — Okayifyousay
Plenty of people zeroed in on her name-calling.
” ‘Little insects’?”
“It’s one thing to be childfree and not like children, It’s another thing to dehumanize them in gross and degrading ways.”
“Clare shouldn’t be around your children, not for her sake, but for theirs. NTA.” — stannenb
“NTA, she just proved why you shouldn’t invite her. What kind of socipath calls kids insects?” – gggggggkkkkkkkkkkk
“NTA. But both she and your mom are. Your mom was stirring the pot and knew what she was doing. And who the hell calls any kids, let alone nieces and nephews ‘insects’?” — ghostwriter623
“NTA. Calling children insects…..what vile excuse for a human being. You are doing the right thing.”
” ‘Invite her so she can forgive you’ “
” ‘Invite her so she can have the pleasure of saying no and then chastising you over your lack of thought for her’…. More like it” — Motorcycle-adikt
A couple people turned on the sarcasm.
“NTA although you may want to reconsider and invite her. She is acting like a child and it is a trip for children.” — midcenturymiss
“NTA but I would send her the itinerary and let her know that you are thrilled she wants to go to the (child centered activity) and (child centered activity) to spend time with your kids and you.”
“Ask her if she will be watching the kids at x location or would she rather do it at y location. Also remember the strict bedtime at 9 pm because the kids are up early and we don’t want disrupt their sleep by having ppl come and go after 9pm.”
“The kids are soooo excited they want her to make breakfast and they get up at 5 or 6am every morning so she will need her sleep….”
“Also let her know that if she is unavailable, you completely understand as it is kinda last minute….” — KSknitter
“NTA, but I’d tell her ‘sure, come along! The more adults watching none stop disney the better!! No wine!! No gambling! No adult time at all!!!’ ” — Far_Seat_2223
Looks like Clare better not hold her breath on being invited along for that vacation. That is, unless she’s leaning hard into the childishness many Redditors have pointed out.
In which case it may just be a breath-holding contest where the loser has to eat a worm or something.