Maintaining a peaceful relationship with your ex's new beau is always a delicate dance, but imagine if the new beau actually stole something from your house.
That's what happened to a man on Reddit, who calls himself leggomylego on the platform, and now he's embroiled in a lawsuit against his ex-wife and her new boyfriend.
So, he took his dilemma to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit to get some feedback. The Original Poster (OP) asked:
"AITA for suing my ex and her boyfriend?"
As he explained:
"My ex and I divorced three years ago. She was cheating, but at this point I don't care about the relationship anymore. The pending lawsuit has nothing to do with her or him, but rather their actions."
"My ex and I have a son, 13, that we split time with 50/50. He's a great kid that interests have changed a lot to be honest as I imagine more kids/teenagers tend to do through the years."
"One thing my son was heavily into at some point was Legos. He used to play with them all the time, and personally I think they're a great toy for different reasons."
"I used to love playing them with him, and to this day I still collect boxes that I leave unopened as a collection."
"Well when my ex and I divorced she got with someone who loved Legos more I guess? From what I know he loves making creations and building the sets. I don't care.. seems cool."
"He does one thing I think is very very weird.. He uses crazy glue so the sets can't break or pieces can't be lost. It seems so weird to me."
"The issue is, I was out of town for all of three days last week for medical reasons, and my son wanted to get his ps4 so he could play it at his mom's."
"This isn't out of the ordinary at all and he has a key, so he let me know he would be stopping over for it."
"I told him to have fun when I saw him on the entry camera. My wife's husband was with him which was a no-no. I told him via speaker to not go in and to wait on the porch."
"He flinched but walked in any way. I sent my ex a text telling her to call him and tell him he's one minute away from a cop call."
"He left my home with a bag in hand which I didn't think much of because my son had his games too."
"Well my son texted me later that evening and said he didn't know it at the time but he's pretty sure SD took some of my Lego sets. These are all old sets and two are worth big money."
"When I got home I confirmed the missing sets and called my ex."
"She had no idea but he admitted he took them but it was so son could have the sets to complete his collection... my son doesn't even like Legos anymore and told his mom he wouldn't steal from me."
"My wife asked how much it would cost to replace them and unfortunately it's more than their savings. Actually, it would take their house down payment plus more."
"I told them if they didn't pay in two weeks I was suing and pressing charges. The price in the sets makes it a felony."
"My ex and her husband are saving for a house which would give my son more space when he's there, but those sets were going to help pay for his education someday or a home of his own. I filed the police report and have talked to a lawyer and we're moving forward with the suit."
"Everyone is calling me a joke because they are just toys, but I don't get it. They are worth real money."
"I'm not rich guys. I needed those to help with my son's future... but again taking this money does deny my son things at his moms house."
"AITA here??"
OP later returned to the post to clarify a few of the details.
"I've been asked to add these facts."
"The sets have been opened which makes them half their worth, and one was glued together. The damage was done already."
"The stolen items are:"
"Kings Castle, Milk truck, Legoland train Carousel and the glued one was a Star Wars snow speeder."
"Some of these are one piece of a larger set. So if you lose one of five, you lose the value of one product plus the value of the set as a whole."
"Ex-wife and boyfriend are the same as ex and husband. I'm just a bad writer."
"I know I haven't been here much but I have read many of your comments and taken them to heart. I am not a scalper."
"I enjoy buying these sets and do not intend to sell all of them, but I want my son to go to college and not worry about debt, so I want to sell the ones that I can to help. I never had the smarts for higher education but my son is not me, and I love him and want him to do better."
"Around 4:00 PM I called the local state police and met at their facility. I gave them all I had and gave my statement."
"My son is with me starting tonight so when I picked him up I sent him into GameStop and called his mom."
"I told her I had filed charges and I asked the cop to call me when everything was done so I could give him the opportunity to turn himself in. I wanted to be better than he treated me."
"I told my son when we got home what I did and why. My son said that I did the right thing because he didn't want his step dad to think it was ok to do it again, and if he didn't go to jail he'd rather be here away from him so it isn't weird."
OP's fellow Redditors were then tasked with judging who's in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
And pretty much everyone was in agreement on who was in the wrong.
"NTA. Looking at it from just a monetary value, I don't believe your friends would be saying the same if he had stolen $XX amount of money. He shouldn't have entered your house without permission and he shouldn't have stolen the sets. He broke the law, he faces the consequences of his actions. Its about as simple as that." --madpirate-k
"This. The man is a thief, plain and simple. He committed a felony and needs to face the consequences for his actions. Also, there's no way he didn't go in there for the sole purpose of stealing those sets..." --100percentthatdork
"He could have stole jewelry. He could have stole money. He could have stole the PS4. He could have stole his flat screen. Doesn't matter. He stole from OP after he was warned not to enter the house. Throw trespassing on top of it. Have him charged with theft as well as suing. He dug himself this grave. NTA." --el_deedee
"For reference, the sets are all discontinued, and are only going to get pricier. (All prices quoted are top end off a google search) Kings Castle - $500 Milk Truck - $2000 Legoland Train - $60 Snowspeeder - $400" --Yakostovian
"Piggybacking off of this: if her husband "loves Legos more" than you, he should know how much those sets cost. He knew what he was doing and the consequences of those actions. NTA" --buncc
"...If OP doesn't put his foot down now what's to stop this guy from stealing again and again? OP needs to protect his assets for his son's future." --insomniac29
"NTA, they were not toys. They were boxed sets that had trade value to other people. The asshole (boyfriend to ex) changed then from collectible to toy, which changed the value. He needs to compensate you for the lost value, plus your time and legal fees." --FragilousSpectunkery
"You are so right. Legos are a better investment than gold bars. If he stole gold bars from OP no one would be complaining." --SpikySnowFairy
"NTA. And people trying to blame you for suing by saying you're making it impossible for your son to live in a bigger house at her place. Maybe bf should have thought about that before stealing someone else's property, and maybe ex should have thought about not getting together with a thief." --Mystshade
"Yes. NTA. Call the cops and make a report. Sue them for the full price, and all expenses related to replacement. Go after the judgement. Take their house, poison their well, slaughter their cow, and salt their fields. Go nuclear. He is a thief, knew what he was doing, did it anyway, and she is choosing him." --awalktojericho
So there you have it. It seems when it comes to issues of theft, things are pretty clear-cut on Reddit.
Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.