It really sucks when we try to do a good deed and someone tries to ruin it.
One guy recently discovered that on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit when he was excited to do some donating, only to be ridiculed at the drop-off location.
Redditor LeicFox89 found himself really fed up by the situation, and potentially overreacting.
The Original Poster (OP) later wondered if he was in the wrong for feeling the way he did.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for withdrawing my clothes donation to a charity shop after the manager was rude to me?”
The OP recently visited a charity to donate some clothing.
“Had yesterday and today off of work and decided to clear out my wardrobe. Ended up with a big bag of jumpers, shirts, and a few pairs of jeans.”
“I called the charity shop yesterday and asked if they were accepting donations and spoke to a lovely lady who said that her manager would be in tomorrow (today) and I could bring them in the afternoon.”
“So I headed there around 2 pm and walked in the door and said that I had a donation.”
The OP didn’t receive the kindest greeting.
“The lady looked at me and said, ‘Washed items only.’ No hello or anything.”
“I replied saying they were all washed and she responded with, ‘Makes a change. Men don’t normally know how to work a washing machine.'”
“I kind of stood in shock and she asked if she could take a look.”
“She opened the bag (I had folded them, but I don’t have a car so had to carry the bag into town, so a few had unraveled), looked at me, and said, ‘I guess folding them was a step too far, huh?'”
“At this point, I got p**sed off and just said, ‘Y’know what, leave it. I’m taking them home with me.'”
“She mentioned that it’s not her working day but came in especially for me and asked why I had wasted her time.”
“I replied stating that, had she not been so rude, it wouldn’t have been a waste of time.”
Now the OP isn’t sure what to do with his donation.
“So now I’ve got a big bag of clothes here that I’m not sure what to do with. I’m not sure whether to take them in anyway and swallow my pride, as the charity is one that I value greatly.”
“Alternatively, I can see if there is another one who can pick them up (that’s the only one in walking distance).”
“Really p**sed me off.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the OP being upset was a no-brainer NTA.
“NTA.”
“‘Makes a change. Men don’t normally know how to work a washing machine.'”
“I would’ve just turned around right there. What, does she think every single man out there just drags their laundry to a capable woman every week?” – DaiZzedandConFuZed
“NTA.”
“The majority of clothes donated to charity are unwashed, unfolded, and full of holes or weird stains. People dump clothes they’d otherwise throw away onto charities then pat themselves on the back for doing a good deed and justify it with ‘the poor and homeless should just be grateful for whatever they get!'”
“Many donated items have to be thrown away. The rule is if the item isn’t in good enough condition that you could sell it to a secondhand shop then don’t donate it to charity.”
“So I’m sure the manager has had to deal with this countless times, yet that wasn’t what was happening in this situation.”
“All of her comments were unnecessary, rude, and made just because you’re a man. She should have been grateful for the donation and treated you with kindness and respect.”
“I hope you’re able to find an equally worthy charity to donate the clothes to, and if there is someone you can report the manager to, please do so. If this is how she treats donors then she likely treats customers even worse.” – thistleandpeony
“Call the director of the organization and ask them where you can donate where you won’t be insulted. Report her, because I’m sure she’s like this to others. What a miserable person. NTA” – Tapioca44
“NTA – When I donate the people taking donations are generally extremely pleasant and thankful. They don’t bother to even look at what is in the bags and boxes I bring let alone comment nastily on them.”
“There are plenty of charities that would be happy to get the clothing. I used to bring down my boxes and bags for donation and store in my car trunk so that when I passed a charity, I would just swing in and drop the stuff off.”
“However, it is true that charities do wish that people would not donate stuff that is broken or unwearable as it costs them money to get rid of items that are unsellable even in a thrift store. Not saying your stuff was but just putting out a PSA.” – Jujulabee
A few Redditors took a moment to set the record straight—the stereotypes don’t fit everyone.
“I got my partner into trouble the first time it came out that I do everything washing-wise.”
“I was talking to his mum because I managed to brush his hair and she was saying that I was good for him and kicking his butt to get his crap together. I said to her that the next thing was to teach him how to use the washing machine.”
“‘He knows how to do that, I’ve shown him many times and got him to put on loads when he was living with me.'”
“‘Oh really? He told me he didn’t know and that it seemed too complicated.'”
“‘Partner!'”
“He came over.”
“‘Why are you telling Nutty you don’t know how to use a washing machine? I taught you better than that.'”
“‘Sorry Mum.'”
“‘You should be, step up.'”
“And then she apologized to me and said that she knows her son can be a lazy sod!! I was like, ‘I love you and I really really hope you’re my MIL someday.'” – NuttyDounuts14
“My mother-in-law lives with us, and I have to keep telling her to leave my clothes alone. I’m a big boy and can wash my own clothes. It feels weird when she washes them. I know she is just trying to help.”
“My wife, however, is all too happy to let her mom take care of her clothes.” – BoredNumb
“My ex-husband hung his shirts inside out & halfway hanging off the hangers. He definitely couldn’t fold, either.”
“I’m a woman & I fold clothes like s**t. Towels – I’m a professional. But clothes?? Lol.”
“My boyfriend folds clothes like they’re going on display in a high-end clothing store.” – S**tF**kD**kSuck
And some gave suggestions for where the OP could take his donations next.
“NTA.”
“Find a new place! Take your time and do your research. They most likely aren’t the only one that’s worth donating to in your area. I am sorry you dealt with a rude manager” – Silver-Thing2724
“NTA. Donate to a homeless shelter or community clothing place.” – dawnzoc65
“This. Men’s shelters are always on the hunt for good clothing and basic necessities.” – TalontheKiller
“Or (if the clothes are not in great condition) consider calling your local animal shelter as they often take clothes/fabric donations or look into what textile recycling programs your city/businesses have near you.” – tanyas_dusk
The subReddit seems to be in agreement that it was a kind gesture for the guy to want to donate his clothes at all. Whether he chooses to go back to that charity or not, greeting him in that way was really rude.