Money is the root cause of many issues.
Who has it?
Who worked for it?
Cash can often lead to chaos.
Case in point…
Redditor jmontmelo88 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for lashing out when my father and MIL spent my savings on a trip to Paris?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (17 M[ale]) have been saving for university and future spending since I was legally allowed to.”
“I have taken positions as a lifeguard during summertime, and as a part-time waiter the rest of the year striking a balance between my work life and student obligations.”
“University is not very expensive (I’m not from the US), but I want to pay it on my own.”
“And I have saved for the first two years.”
“I put the money in my bookshelf in an envelope.”
“My father remarried with my stepmom 5 years ago (53 M and 50 F[emale]).”
“They always talk about traveling, and spent free time looking at YouTube videos of other cities.”
“They have always talked about going on a romantic trip to Paris.”
“Two weeks ago they finally accomplished their objective and went to Paris.”
“They spared no expense: flew on business class, stayed at a very nice hotel, and booked top class restaurants.”
“Overall, they had an amazing time.”
“Yesterday I went for some money for a set of headphones when I noticed part of the money was gone.”
“I quickly ran to my father and asked him if he knew about the money.”
“He told me they took it for the trip to Paris since they could manage my money and belongings as I was a minor and both have full custody of me.”
“I stormed off and went for a walk.”
“Bear in mind they have stolen around €3,000.”
“At night they came to me and offered to return me the money provided I pay for rent and food from then on.”
“They claim that since I wanted to be independent, this has to be at every aspect.”
“I was beyond shocked they had the nerve of saying such a thing.”
“I quickly packed a backpack and now I am staying for a few days with my girlfriend.”
“They are bombarding me with texts saying I am being very immature and therefore that money was reasonably managed by them.”
“My father’s family are telling me that I am being very unreasonable.”
“That I should be understanding as they have raised me and invested a lot of money in me.”
“However, most of my cousins side with me.”
“Now I’m in no contact with all of them.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. They stole 3000€.”
“There is no justification for that.” ~ DarkN00b1971
“I think it’s disgusting they are claiming he’s too immature to manage his own money.”
“While he’s a teenager that saved several thousand euros for college.”
“While the ‘mature’ adults blew it on a trip to Paris.” ~ Fianna9
“Not just that, but pretending that it’s reasonable for them to pay OP back only if they start collecting rent too.”
“Like you’re not being slick, you’re just shi**y parents who stole from their kid.”
“The enabling relatives are AHs too.”
“I hope OP has a decent support system outside of these clowns and of course that OP gets all the money back they stole from him.” ~ bigmacstermind
“NTA, OP. But you should’ve agreed to ‘pay rent’ upon them returning the money, and soon after move out with all of your money.”
“You do not own them anything.”
“Until you are 18 it is their job to provide for you.”
“You don’t need to pay for their luxuries out of your own pocket.”
“If you have a plan B and someplace to go, contact the police.” ~ MashaSP
“NTA. I’d report it to the police.”
“Does anyone know if they can do anything in this situation?”
“If the police can’t help you, I’d text your family, ‘I hope stealing from me is worth losing any future relationship with me.'”
‘”I honestly think stealing from your own child is one of the worst things you can do.'”
“I’d text the rest of your family, ‘So, you’re saying stealing is okay?'”
‘”So if I come to your house and steal 3k worth of belongings, it’s okay because we’re family?'”
‘”I’m glad to know the rules.'”
‘”When can I come over to collect the objects I want to pawn?'” ~ crystallz2000
“The way I’m reading this is that OP kept it in cash form rather than a bank account.”
“As f**ked up as it is, sounds like OP might be out of luck if their parents didn’t deposit the cash into their accounts and paid in cash while in Paris.”
“It’s hard to trace money that way especially if no one got receipts.”
“Regardless OP should probably report it to the cops just for a record, then do whatever is necessary from there.”
“Unfortunately the OP is a minor so IDK how that’s going to look.” ~Reddit
“This. They are legally required to ‘raise’ you since you are a minor.”
“They stole your money. For a vacation.”
“They are horrible people and if they won’t replace the money you should move out (you should anyway) and cut them off.”
“They only care about themselves.” ~ TA122278
“OP, tell them if they’ll return the money, you’ll pay rent.”
“Get the money, then move out.” ~ lovebombme2u
“This. And I’ve been you.”
“Don’t make my mistake by letting your extended family talk you into not going public or bringing charges so as not to cause the family any embarrassment.”
“Those same adults who are pressuring you to let it go won’t donate a penny to make things right.” ~ Fantastic_Nebula_835
“In my opinion, you TRUSTED them… and they stole from you.”
“You’ve worked hard for that money, they knew that, and they took that money anyway.”
“I wish this hasn’t happened to you.”
“Next time, get a bank account, or even a security box in a bank and keep your valuables there.”
“You deserve better.” ~ Huge_Industry_1259
“Yeah, they didn’t manage the money, they freaking stole it.”
“And any money spent raising a child is not an investment or a loan to OP.”
“It’s what you do when you’re a parent. NTA.” ~ annarchy8
“Very clear NTA. In the US (I know you said you’re not from here, but it’s what I know), charging rent to a minor is literally illegal.”
“I don’t know if there’s any legal recourse, but that’s literally stealing from your child.”
“In the future, word to the wise, never keep more than a few hundred in cash ever, at least in any one spot.”
“Keeping money in a bank (make sure it’s insured) will keep it safer in so many ways.”
“It may not grow much, but it’s a lot harder for people to just steal it from your shelf/box/another hiding place.” ~ Wooden_Phoenix
“NTA. You’re their child, not their investment.”
“There is no quantifiable reason for your own freaking family.”
“It doesn’t matter what they ‘invested in you’ … the fruits of their labor (should be) a 17-year-old with a strong life plan and good savings to execute that plan.”
“That would actually be an incredible reason if they genuinely cared about your life goals and development.”
“Instead, they hamstrung you and will only make you whole if you pay them for it?”
“Forget that, OP. NTA x1000, parents that do this are analogous to cancer.” ~ Isosceles_Kramer_
“Whoaaaaa NTA!”
“First of all, it is your father’s RESPONSIBILITY to financially (at the minimum) provide for you until you’re 18.”
“Whether you make money or not is of no concern to that.”
“He stole from you, money that you worked hard for.”
“That’s a lot of money, especially at 17.”
“How selfish of him!”
“He should be fostering your independence, not trying to shackle, use, and abuse you.” ~ Lazy-Belt2341
“NTA, that’s downright theft.”
“You saved your own money for your own studies and personal usage.”
“Just because they have access to your account (since you’re a minor) does NOT equal to spending that on THEIR personal usage.”
“And then thereafter asking to pay rent and assortments in exchange for it?”
“I’m sorry that you have to go through this.” ~ MeowMeow808
“NTA. They stole a lot of money from you.”
“It doesn’t matter if you are a minor, it was yours that you worked hard for.”
“Obviously they don’t know how to manage finances since they stole from their own child.”
“You are not an a**hole for reacting as you did.”
“Sadly you will probably not be seeing the money ever again.”
“A bank or a new stash sight would be a good place to put the money.”
“Bright side, you won’t have to buy them gifts for a crap ton of years.”
“Just get them cards and write the amount that you deduct from what was stolen.” ~ lil-peanutbutter
Well OP… Reddit is with you.
You have tons to decide.
Stay strong and hardworking.