AI tools have been around for quite a while, but they've become especially prevalent in the past year, leading people to hold some pretty divisive stances about its use.
Ironically, some people only worry about the use of AI when it begins to impact their job or their hobby, side-eyed the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor _TheReposter_, a self-professed musician and the "musical" person in their family, was asked to DJ their sister-in-law's upcoming wedding, which they were happy to help with.
But when they found out that their sister-in-law and future brother-in-law wanted to use AI-generated songs, the Original Poster (OP) felt so uncomfortable that they wanted to drop out of helping with the wedding.
They asked the sub:
"Am I the a**hole for refusing to play AI-generated music at my sister-in-law's wedding?"
The OP was excited to DJ their sister-in-law's wedding, until they found out she wanted to use AI-generated songs.
"My sister-in-law asked me to DJ her wedding a few weeks back."
"I own some decent speakers, and I’m the music person in the family, so I said I’d be happy to."
"Fast forward to today. The day before the wedding."
"I messaged her asking for the final list of important, scheduled songs (father-daughter dance, etc.), and she sent back half a dozen songs generated using some random AI song generator."
The OP felt conflicted and considered dropping out as the DJ.
"Now, I’m not strongly anti-AI like some people; I use it for work and to answer random questions."
"But I’m a semi-professional musician, and music has been my passion for most of my life. It honestly feels immoral for me to publicly support AI music like this."
"I haven’t responded to her yet. She sent the songs, and I just left her on read, but I’ll have to see her this evening for the dress rehearsal."
"I am pretty set on telling her that she can use our equipment and I’ll help set up, but I won’t be the person on stage controlling the playlist if it includes any AI music."
"AITA?"
After reading the initial responses, the OP added a few more details to their post.
"A lot of people are pointing out that I should have had this conversation with her sooner. I did try; I’ve been messaging her for more than three weeks, asking for these songs, and this morning was the first time I heard about the AI music."
"A few people have mentioned, 'Her wedding, her choice,' or, 'As the DJ, your job is just to play what she wants.' I understand where you're coming from, but, first, I’m not getting paid for this. Also, I am a musician, and I’d have to be on stage running the equipment. I worried that would impact my reputation, since I occasionally produce music for contracts with strict no-AI policies."
"I’ve asked my spouse (her sibling) to talk to her first since they have a closer relationship, and I’ve set up a time in 30 minutes to talk with her about it in person. "
"Currently, I’m planning on saying I just won’t be the one on stage to play the AI music, but I’ll help out otherwise."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some side-eyed the OP for their conflicting views about the use of AI.
"Interesting that it’s immoral when it infringes on your livelihood and passion, but not when it’s doing the same to others."
"Also, the wedding is literally tomorrow. Decide what you’re doing and communicate it as soon as possible. Don’t wait until the rehearsal dinner, that’s just callous."
"And if you’re not going to do it, prepare for a strained relationship with her for the years to come." - Consistent_Cat4436
"My main takeaway from the post is that OP could really use some reflection on how they view AI, given how they feel when it’s impacting them personally. Maybe it’s time to start broadening their view on how terrible it is for everyone else, too."
"As for the wedding… I think it’s a bit late to be setting stipulations, especially if OP still wants a relationship with SIL."
"But seriously, OP… your emails use up our limited resources, too." - glitter_witch
"I mean, using AI to respond to your boss's stupid emails is still kind of disrespectful? Like, I fully get that in the workplace you do receive a lot of bulls**t emails that don't matter, but either a) reading and responding to those emails is part of your job, and you should actually do it yourself, or b) the emails legitimately are not important, and you can just ignore them." - Maximumfabulosity
"NTA for refusing to play AI music, but YTA for still using AI for other uses even though you’re a creative person and already understand that it’s bad. You really don't have a leg to stand on with this argument." - Far-Half9280
"I always love it when people realize that AI affects them, too." - Opposite_Opposite_69
Others pointed out that there were other songs the OP could have suggested if it was really that important not to play the AI-generated songs.
"If OP's job is music, I feel a good solution would be that they find alternative songs?"
"Like, if OP feels the chosen father/son song was artificially generated, can't OP just list two or three options that have the same vibe, but are actual human songs?" - Stormtomcat
"NTA. F**k AI. But why does she have these songs in mind? Is she clueless that they're AI and just likes them, or is that what she really wants for other reasons?"
"I'm more fascinated by people who don't care they're listening to fake music and pretending it's otherwise. But then again, some folks are soulless, clueless, and ignorant." - NoEchoSkillGoal
"It's not like there aren't hundreds of songs by actual humans that could be played. Thousands, even. If I went to a wedding and they played AI music, it would feel really tacky." - dantevonlocke
"I think YTA because it is the day before the wedding."
"If you were/are going to have stipulations on what kind of music and songs you would or wouldn't play, you should have said it upfront before agreeing to do it. Refusing the day before is an a**hole move."
"If you had said from the beginning, yes but no AI music, it would be N T A."
"You're also the a**hole, because you are okay with using AI for other things, but not music. As in, okay with AI for things that don't directly impact or matter to you but arguably harm others and the environment, but not okay with it for things that hurt you directly that you care about." - Dizzy_Needleworker_3_
"NTA, but you need to resolve this as soon as possible and not wait for the dinner... You might just say it straight like, 'You really want to play AI music at your wedding? A lot of people will find that cringe. Here are some ideas for good replacement songs.'"
"She has a lot on her plate right now, so you need to give her solutions, like alternate song suggestions, not more problems to figure out. Otherwise, she'll just say no and make you go with the original, AI set list." - everender8
"Mostly YTA. Refusing to play their songs when they already have so much on their plate at the last minute will just create more problems than it's worth. This isn't your big break into music; it's a family event."
"With that said, as an artist who deals with clients who think they know what's best for a creative direction, you are within your means to coerce them away from it."
"A gentle 'Hey, I think it would be a lot more endearing and sentimental for you and your guests if you picked music that wasn't AI-generated. Can I help with curating a more personal list?' or something along those lines, I think, is appropriate, considering they're family."
"You're absolutely right in that AI music sucks so much butt, and in my opinion, it would kill the vibe of the party."
"But as others said, this is strictly about their wedding, not whether or not it's cool with your personal stance." - jellyfishspace
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update.
"Thank you all for the comments! My spouse had a chance to talk with my sister-in-law. She decided to take the 'it’s not on Spotify, which is difficult' route, and that mostly worked."
"Except she was still stuck on one song. The first dance. She really wanted her first dance to be one of the AI songs."
"I showed up shortly after they talked and decided to just set up my equipment and play the song for the bridal party."
"Pretty quickly, the song was shut down by the bridesmaids. They were worried about such a special moment being an AI song, and also that the song kinda sucked."
"My sister-in-law is still on the fence about it, but it sounds like she’s going to go with a real song."
"I’ll update again after the wedding tomorrow, but for now, the plan is I’ll continue to DJ, and we won’t be playing any AI songs."
Ultimately, the OP went along with the bride's wishes.
"Ultimately, I ended up playing the AI songs, thanks to the groom."
"Although my sister-in-law was on board the day before, her fiancé was not. He pulled me aside and asked what my deal was. I tried to explain it to him using the same logic as her bridesmaids, but he wasn’t having it."
"I told him it was tacky to have her whole first-middle-last name in the song, and he said, 'Okay, give me two minutes, and I’ll generate another one.'"
"Then I mentioned, what if they wanted to have a DJ play it for them at someone else’s wedding later in life, and he said, 'I would just text it to him, I don’t see the problem...'"
"I guess they went home and had an argument about it that night, because she was pretty convinced they should use a normal song at this point."
"Then, the day of, she told me the AI songs were what they were going with."
"So, not to cause a scene, I just sucked it up and played the songs."
While the OP felt conflicted about using AI-generated music because of their passion and career, fellow Redditors argued that the OP could care more about AI use across the board, not just when it affected them personally.
Ultimately, it was the sister-in-law's wedding, and if she and her husband wanted AI at their wedding, there wasn't much the OP could do to stop them.
