How assets are split in a will can cause a lot of resentment and fighting. But splitting everything equally doesn't guarantee harmony either.
A son turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback over his inheritance.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
HauntingArtichoke830 asked:
"AITAH for resenting my parents for leaving an equal share of inheritance to my estranged brother?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"My dad recently passed away and left equal share of his very sizable estate (well over $10 million) to my brother."
"To paint a picture, my brother was a terror all of my life. He was always getting into trouble, picking fights, disrespectable, and unmanageable to the point my parents sent him away to boarding school."
"When he got older, things didn't get much better. He was always the same selfish brat he always was. Only came around when he needed money. When he was around, he treated my parents like servants and constantly berated them and me. He was throwing tantrums whenever he didn't get his way well into his 30s."
"It got to the point my parents went through a 6 year period where they did not talk or communicate at all. When my mom passed away, he didn't even bother to check in on our dad while I single-handedly helped plan the funeral."
"Then my dad also got sick. I, being the good son who was expected to behave, immediately dropped everything to move from half-way across the country to back home so I could take care of him. Spent 4 years taking him to doctors appointments and helping out however I could. Turned down promotions because it meant losing my flexibility that allowed me to care for him."
"When he was getting close to end of life, he reached out to my brother to try and make amends. Surprisingly, he came home, but it didn't take log before my brother started another fight, cussed him out, and walked out of the hospital room."
"He finally passed away recently and I was shocked to learn he had split his estate equally between me and my brother. I didn't expect him to completely disown him, but I certainly didn't expect the estate to be split exactly down the middle."
"I couldn't help but feel a small amount of resentment towards my dad. My brother did nothing but make our entire family's life miserable all his life, while I bent over backwards and sacrificed trying to help my family."
"It's not about the money, but that through the will, despite everything, he was calling me and my brother equals."
"AITAH for feeling resentful about the equal split of the inheritance?"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was fine to feel resentment, but it was his parents money to do with whatever they wanted.
"An inheritance is not always a ranking system for who loved harder or sacrificed more. A lot of parents simply split things equally because they see both children as their children regardless of flaws."
"At the end of the day it was your father’s money and he chose to treat both of his children equally. You do not have to agree with his decision, but I think you should respect it." ~ Fit-Community-7351
"YTA. No one is entitled to an inheritance. Your dad could've willed his entire estate to charity. Take your over $5 million and just get on with your life." ~ bugabooandtwo
"NAH. Your dad had his reasons for doing what he did. Be responsible with the money you got and you can probably watch your brother piss his share away. I'm sure you can use a few dollars of that to change your phone number." ~ Difficult-Bicycle119
"Your father did you a favor as now you don’t have to go through any legal shenanigans with your brother for anything he thinks he was 'owed'—and you can bet he would have felt entitled to half. Be happy it is now your choice whether you ever engage with him again because you don’t owe him anything." ~ True-Tangerine9901
"Ultimately, our parents money is not our money. Would you feel better if your Dad had left everything to an animal shelter instead of his children?"
"I get that you feel bitter about it, I would too. But you should take this as a gift. If it was more on your side than your brother's, do you think he would try to fight that? This way, no arguments and no potential legal battles."
"And you never have to talk to your brother again if you don't want to. He'll try to come back to you when he blows through that money. And you can tell him to f*ck all the way off—you didn't get more than him, so his problems are his alone to deal with for the rest of his life."
"Take your inheritance and act intelligently with it. And maybe change your number if your brother has it." ~ Ladygytha
"Your parents may have felt they were at fault for how your brother turned out and responsible for providing for him even after they died."
"You don’t have to feel that way, not that you do, and with an even split he has no right to expect anything from you."
"Go no contact and enjoy your freaking over $5 million." ~ Flimsy-Fortune-6437
"I've seen so much drama over inheritances that my philosophy is that my parents owe me nothing, and I'm not going to waste my emotional energy over stuff when they do pass. Maybe I can say that because I know how they are dividing their estate, but maybe not."
"I've just seen people in my family discussing the things their siblings got or didn't get for the past two decades, and in the end, you can't take it with you. More strife has been caused because of physical things, and I'm just over it. I can't have children, so, for me, it'll go to my siblings or niece and nephew, anyway." ~ viacrucis1689
"NTA. I completely understand why you feel the way you do. I would too."
"Him splitting it equally was probably a blessing in disguise, although I'm sure it doesn't feel like it. If your dad didn't split it equally, I'm sure your brother would have made your life hell. He would have hounded you, maybe contested the will, tried to destroy your reputation in the court of public approval. You're now free to block him out of your life completely."
"Best thing you can do is move on, live your best life. Be careful with your money and don't ever let anyone know you have it. Don't ever comingle that money with anyone else's, including a romantic partner. Best of luck to you." ~ cultoftwinkies
"You’re NTA, but it will get you nowhere to be resentful. You cannot change what your father did. Enjoy the inheritance you received. Continue to be no contact with your brother and if he blows through the money, don’t give him one red cent because he got an equal share." ~ jamjar20
"You have a five-million dollar inheritance AND a clean conscience. Take the win and don't let bitterness steal your peace. Get therapy if you can't deal with this on your own." ~ woodwitchofthewest
"If the brother had been given less (or nothing) he would have made it his mission to make OP’s life miserable. This is actually a good outcome where OP can tell his brother to f*ck off if he ever comes crawling back for money after blowing his." ~ rncikwb
"NTA. You got $5mil. Take it. Move on and never think of him again." ~ Xentemplar
"OP, Dad was protecting you! Do you have any idea how your brother would have acted if he didn't get "his fair share"? This would have been a protracted court battle."
"Enjoy what you received, block your brother, and don't help him in the future." ~ Glittering_Win_9677
"NTA, because feelings happen. In the end, literally, it was your dad’s money and reasoning as to why the inheritance was split that way. Your lived experience isn’t the same as yours dad’s lived experience."
"You have no idea what went on in his heart and mind. You either took care of your dad because you wanted/felt obligated or you did it specifically for the inheritance. If you did it because you felt like it was the right thing to do, let this go. Zero point in even thinking about it." ~ No_Jaguar67
"NTA, but have you considered that your dad may have done this for your benefit? He knew if he didn't give your brother his full share, he'd be coming at you to try to get it." ~ readergirl35
"NTA, but what part of your life would you have changed? Would you prefer to have been estranged from your parents? Would you have preferred that your dad die alone?"
"Point is, not only did you get the money, but you also got a relationship with your parents, and your brother will never have that." ~ pineboxwaiting
OP has the knowledge that he treated his parents well and he can cut all ties with his brother if he wants.
His brother got an equal share of their parents' estate, so OP doesn't have to deal with him ever again.
